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 “I’m so stressed; I could pull out my hair”
Regina
Thursday, April 11, 2002
by: Judy Howe
We have all heard this expression before; some of us have even said it. However,
for millions of people around the world, this is not just an expression. Approximately
5% of the population is compelled to pull out their own hair. This is a medical
disorder, classified as an Impulse Control Disorder, called Trichotillomania.
I have this disorder.
My name is Judy and I have had Trichotillomania since I was thirteen years old.
Trichotillomania usually starts around puberty, but you can get it at any age.
Trichotillomania can affect any person regardless of their sex, race, intellect or
financial standing.
I started pulling out my eyelashes and eyebrows, after I noticed one day how easily
they came out. Soon, I had no eyelashes or eyebrows left. What started as a fascination
with my hair, quickly became a compulsion…I had to pull! When I had nothing to pull,
I started on my scalp hairs. Over the years as my Trichotillomania got worse, I
resorted to wearing bandanas, wigs, hairpieces and hats, to hide the bald spots.
I went through the first twelve years of pulling thinking that I must be crazy; who
else but a crazy person would pull out their hair! I didn’t really feel crazy, that
was the problem. I felt perfectly normal, except for the fact that I pulled out
my hair. When I was twenty-five, a friend came across a newspaper article on hair
pulling, clipped it out and gave it to me. I was so relieved to know that my pulling
was “a thing”. I was not crazy! I had a disorder. Even though I now knew what
it was called, I did not get better. I did not know enough about the disorder.
In the eighties, there was very little in the media about Trichotillomania. There
still isn’t today.
One of the hardest parts of having Trichotillomania is the shame and guilt that goes
with it. For years I would tell no one, but my family. I lived in fear that people
would learn of my “secret”. That shame and guilt went away, once I got a computer
and discovered an on-line support group on the internet. For the past year, I have
been talking to other people with Trichotillomania. Since my twenties I knew that
millions of people had this disorder, but this didn’t help me until I could actually
talk to some people who did the same thing as I did.
I have learned a lot about Trichotillomania from the internet. I have basically
stopped pulling, with the occasional slip. One of the things that I have learned
from the on-line support group is that I do not have to be perfect. I can still
progress in my recovery, even if I slip and pull out my hair. I now have most of
my hair back!
I have started a Support Group for Trichotillomania here in Regina, Saskatchewan.
I encourage any one who has Trichotillomania (TTM for short) to come to a meeting,
to call me or to email me. Trichotillomania can be beaten! If you would like to
contact me, please do so. Here is the information for the Support Group:
Judy Howe
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