- Two days ago in the alternate universe, the writ was dropped. What does this
mean to the citizens of
- the alternate universe? It simply means that there will be no election in the
Remember this is the alternate universe.
- Our reporter Harry Kyleman was on the scene today at AULH (Alternate Universe
- Headquarters). The mood was joyous among the Leader's staff.
- Our leader, Roy the Razor Romanow, former head of the AWWF (Alternate World Wrestling
- Federation) and Subway Sandwich employee of the month, had much to say.
Harry: So why did you cancel the election?
- Razor: There are way to many things going on right now, such as my new
plane needs an
- oil-change. I just got back from Ulberta, and have to lose a few pounds from
eating all that beef. There are those difficulties with labour; can you believe that
some of them think that they should have human rights, input into their jobs, and
- Beyond all that these working people keep getting hurt on their jobs and want
me and my minions
- to do something about it! Hell, then there are all those sick and old, cripes,
what a drain they are.
The list goes on and on, who do these people think I am? Some kind of God!
- Harry: Since you won the employee of the month award at Subway you have
come a long way,
- what do you attribute your rapid advancement to the position of Leader of the
- Razor: Mostly living in a world of my own! Really though, I just ignore
everyone, and if they
- don't like what I am doing I glare at them with this evil stare and then attack
them in some way. Or as a good friend said, Deny, deny, deny!
- Harry: You promised an election, and then changed your mind, what do you
say to those that
- are calling you a coward?
Razor: I never promised any such thing, and even if I did, there are extenuating
Harry: When do you anticipate the election being called?
- Razor: Once I have everyone put in their place and I feel confident that
I can win, or if I can get a
- better job, say as a roadie for Metalica or a foreign affairs guy for another
- We went to the streets to ask the public what they think about the election being
- had this to say.
- "Who cares, there is really nobody to vote for anyway."
"What difference does it make they are all a bunch of crooks anyway."
"Why do we do that, (have elections) nobody ever listens to us anyway."
- "Democracy is dead right after an election then again most of the candidates
are dead from the neck
- up anyway", said our political expert.
- Local entrepreneur, and discount funeral home owner, Mr. Greenman has confirmed
that the cost
- of the funeral and burial of democracy and being nice to citizens, of the Alternate
Universe has cost the taxpayers more than just a few bazillion, he added that it
has also cost us our health and well being.
- "Well, the cost has run into the Bazillions, and then there is the price
of quality of life! I don't even
- want to talk about it," added Mr. Greenman.
Harry Kyelman Reporting.